The six stages of Ashes grief

Describing sporting defeats in terms of grief is obviously way over the top. Yet for England cricket fans having to endure another difficult Ashes tour down under, the 2024/25 series seems to be following that all too familiar pattern.

A cycle that has often been repeated during English winters since 1990 - bar one glorious exception - you would think that most of us would have learned by now. But we do it to ourselves, we do. And that's what really hurts.

So join me as we take a stroll through a typical English winter of hope, disappointments, sleepless nights, anger, realisation and the occasional moments of humour. An Ashes in Australia; my favourite waste of time.

1997: England v Australia First Test

For once in my life it appeared as if my optimism had not been misplaced. Going into the first Ashes Test in the summer of '97, there seemed a renewed energy, not just with English cricket but also the nation as a whole. Euro 96, Britpop, Things Can Only Get Better, it was clear that this momentum was leading to an inevitable conclusion: The Ashes were coming home. 

Disappointment heaped upon misery, embarrassment and despair since 1989 had left many English cricket fans wondering when the drought would end. But in 1997 there was genuine hope that Michael Atherton could lift the Ashes urn and end the years of hurt.

2001 Ashes

By 2001, the Ashes had become a bit of an obsession. Winning the urn in 1985 was my beautiful introduction to Test match cricket and retaining the Ashes down under in 1986/87 was the stuff of dreams during a turbulent time for English cricket. But then came 1989.

A series that has entered the hall of shame for the England national team, anything that could go wrong that year did. The 4-0 reverse was shocking, as 29 players were shuffled around in the vague hope that England could compete with the resurgent tourists. To be honest, losing 4-0 flattered us.

From that point on I dreamed of winning back the urn at the start of every Ashes series. But time after time it soon became clear that my initial hopes were ill-founded. Losing became a habit against Australia, but still I hoped that the latest series would be the one. You do it to yourself, you do, and that's what really hurts. 

2000: Pakistan v England

England began their tour of Pakistan in 2000 just looking to compete. By the end of it they were dancing in the moonlight.

A year had been a long time for the English cricket team. Beaten by New Zealand in the summer of 1999, England dropped to the bottom of the unofficial world rankings and the start of the new captain/coach partnership of Nasser Hussain and Duncan Fletcher suggested that the road to recovery would be long.

In fairness, the bowling conditions were ideal as England slumped to 2/4 in the opening Test of the series in South Africa. But despite going down to a 2-1 series defeat - the one win coming after the notorious Hansie Cronje declaration in the final match - there were small signs that Hussain was moulding a side in his image.

Sport hurts: Adelaide (2006)

My new series where I take a look back at a time sport left me broken.

As me and my friends discussed England's fantastic Test match win at Adelaide in December 2010, one of the group stated that at least we could bury the bad memories at the same venue four years earlier. "Too soon," I replied, as all the joy left my eyes. 

I was partly joking. But there are some sporting defeats that leave a scar so deep that they should never be mentioned again. Rather than having an open discussion that will hopefully heal the wounds, it's best to bury these experiences, deep down, preferably at the bottom of the Mariana Trench. So writing this blog is going to be a lot of fun for me.

Cricket World Cup television coverage

"What's this?", I casually enquired to my 12-year-old son. "My cricket scenes picture," he replied, as if I should have worked that out easily. Glancing at his drawing, I had a few more questions.

"How has Mum scored 201* off of 171 balls?"

"How did our rabbit (Derek) dismiss me for a golden duck?"

"How did Derek take 7/22, seeing as he's, well, a rabbit?"

"And, are you ok?"

To be honest, I knew the answer to the last question. You see, this is exactly the kind of thing I would have done at his age. Locate the Ladybird book of cricket in our house and you will spot the front over with "Cricket is skill" scribbled on it; I did this in the mid-80s. As my wife often says - with a pained expression on her face - "He's a mini version of you".

From a very young age he has been into his cricket. That is the bonus of growing up in a house where your parents can just about afford the Sky subscription and are prepared to pay it. Watching cricket with me whetted his appetite, and since 2015 we have been regulars at home and away T20 matches following Northamptonshire. He also went to his first Test at Lord's in 2015, as England defeated New Zealand.

All this waffle is basically a foundation for the rest of my piece; my concerns for cricket in the UK with regards to the next generation. With the World Cup currently being contested on our shores, this has brought the problem to my attention in an alarming way.

My son loves his cricket and is obviously drowning in the Sky coverage of the tournament. Hence the cricket scenes masterpiece. But this got me thinking about the thousands of young children up and down the country who are denied the chance to discover just how brilliant the sport is.

Cricket on free to air television enabled me to stumble into a relationship with the sport in 1985. But if the equivalent of Sky had existed back then, there is a strong chance cricket would have passed me by. This shouldn't be the case.

The World Cup should be available on terrestrial television (is it still called that?). Think of how many children could be enthralled by some of the big hitting, stunning catches, flashing bails, and general razzmatazz of the tournament. Opportunities like this don't come along very often.

It saddens me that the current England team could be slipping under the radar. A superb set of players, they might not win the World Cup, but what better way to attract kids to the game than through this exciting side?

Take the Afghanistan match. Eoin Morgan's 17 sixes in his thrilling 148 might have happened when most of us were at work or school, but at least everyone could enjoy the highlights on Channel 4. What time could the family settle down to witness Morgan's record-breaking antics? 11.05pm. Well done, everyone.

It isn't just the future I'm worried about. Consider the casual fan in all this. My parents have been watching matches on Sky, and my mum said she's surprised about how exciting it is. My mum really doesn't like cricket, and now she's shocking me with mad statements like this.

Sporting tournaments like this should be shared by the nation. Think of the feelgood factor created by the football World Cup last year. At a time when we could all do with a bit of escapism, jumping aboard the England team bandwagon seems appealing. But some haven't been invited to the party.

There is nothing we can do about it now. But this really does feel like a missed chance to promote cricket in this country. And with the Ashes following the World Cup, it is the ideal summer to fall in love with the sport.

I'm not knocking Sky; they have invested millions in covering cricket, and their coverage is excellent and extensive. It's the powers that be need to take a look at the situation, and ponder if potential fans being deprived of cricket coverage is sensible.

Rant over. I'm off to bowl some chin music at my son after his cruel assessment of my cricketing abilities.

1992 World Cup: Botham's last hurrah

It's often been stated that things were rarely dull where Ian Terrence Botham was concerned. After all, if you're an inspiration to David Brent, then naturally you will be an entertainer. The winter of 1992 would see one final example of Beefy writing his own scripts. Yet, as the England cricket team jetted off for their New Zealand tour in January 1992, it would be a very different set of scripts that caused a stir amongst the British press.

My Sporting Diary: Part 13

I've had a few weeks off from writing my sport diary, and not a lot has happened in that period. Well, there has been the ball tampering affair, Man City losing a few notable matches, the first golf major of the year, and the start of the Commonwealth Games. But, as I say, not much has taken place.

My Sporting Diary: Part 12

The latest entry in my 2018 sport diary, as I finally back a winner at Cheltenham, international week drags on and on and on, and the England cricket team take us all back to the 80s and 90s.

My Sporting Diary: Part 10

Part ten of my 2018 sporting diary, as Arsenal play Jekyll and Hyde, and Aggers and Tuffers entertain.

My Sporting Diary: Part 8

Part 8 of my sporting diary, as Wigan shock Manchester City, Rashid and Hales point the way to a worrying future, and Lizzy Yarnold is the golden girl again.

My Sporting Diary: Part 4

The latest entry in my sporting diary of 2018, as Alexis plays the piano, and Twitter storms kick off left, right and centre.

My Sporting Diary: Part 3

The latest entry in my sporting diary of 2018, as Arsenal lose another away match, and the world of football pays tribute to Cyrille Regis.

My Sporting Diary: Part 2

The latest entry in my sporting diary, as the feud between Mourinho and Conte continues, and my Ashes misery is finally put to bed.

My Sporting Diary: Part 1

The first entry in my 2018 sporting diary, including darts discussions, Jose Mourinho moaning, and Eden Hazard's balancing problems.

2000: England v West Indies, Lord's

England had not beaten the West Indies in a Test series since 1969. But hopes were high as the two teams headed to Edgbaston for the series opener.

2016 T20 Blast: Northamptonshire

I love an underdog triumph as much as the next man, and when the victorious tale involves a team that you support, then it is that much sweeter. To call Northamptonshire underdogs in the T20 format may sound odd; after all, the county won the tournament in 2013, and were runners-up last season. Yet in terms of resources, the county are a prime example of a team punching above their weight.

During my childhood I was lucky enough to enjoy the era of Lamb, Larkins, Bailey, Capel and so many others, including current coach David Ripley. The two final defeats in 1987 were hard to take, and the 1995 County Championship contenders containing Anil Kumble was another story of so near yet so far. Our 2013 T20 win was thrilling, but it was only when I started to take my son to Wantage Road in 2014, that my enthusiasm was truly stirred again.